Trauma Resilience And Healing
By Libby Edmonds
On the 12th July our world changed AGAIN! The violent civil unrest was an apocalypse that killed over 300 people and, destroyed hundreds of shops, malls and businesses. This time the trauma was nothing short of catastrophic. In spite of the devastation many resilient South Africans, in the spirit of Ubuntu started cleaning the streets of their suburbs and towns within days of the unrest. It is however, the long term effects of this trauma on our children and society at large that is deeply concerning.
Trauma is a Greek word that means ‘injury’ to the body, mind or spirit. When trauma comes, it disrupts the biological, psychological and social order of our lives. It can throw us into chaos or stunt the ordinary processes of our growth and development. Dr James Gordon, the Director of the Centre for Mind Body Medicine states that trauma may force us to question who we are, our relationships with other people and the meaning and purpose of our lives.
I don’t think there is a South African man, women or child who does not identify with some, if not all of this description of trauma. Prior to the pandemic, South Africa was facing numerous socio-economic issues. The pandemic brought fear, uncertainty and many more challenges. Teachers and parents have found themselves navigating a terrain that appears to change daily. Schools have had to adjust and adapt to the current tensions affecting the emotional climate. No one is immune to the increase in stress and anxiety as we traverse into the unknown. Teachers and parents are constantly asking… where do we start? How do we help our kids when we need to help ourselves?
As an emotional intelligence educator, I am acutely aware of the difficulties facing parents and educators, here are some points to consider going forward.
How should we speak to our children?
Dr Bruce Perry, Psychiatrist and Head of Child Trauma Academy at Houston, says it is important to speak to children who have experienced trauma in a unique way that allows for deeper trust and connection. Children’s post traumatic behaviours and reactions are varied. Some of the changes in physical and emotional reactions may include disruption, poor listening, disconnection, aggression, withdrawal tearful, exhausted, moody, argumentative, bullying, lying, fearful, anxious, clingy, lack of focus and inability to complete tasks among others.
It is not uncommon for a teacher to ask a child displaying such behaviour, “What is wrong with you?” In order to engage and be fully connected to our children, we need to recognize they are as unique as their finger prints. And their experience of the recent traumatic events is unique to them too.
To open the door to greater connection and trust, vital skills are needed for learning. Teachers need to reframe the question and create an environment of safety and security. By asking the question, what happened to you?, the child has an opportunity to express their personal experience.
Three E’s to consider when discussing trauma
Event- The event/s that affected the children will be different and unique for every child in the class. There are those who were part of it while others witnessed it. Some watched it on TV and others listened to it on the radio. There are also some who may have missed it but subsequently heard all the traumatic details at school.
Experience- What was the child’s unique experience of the event? Where was the child, who was with the child, what did the child see, hear and feel at the time?
Effect- Any traumatic event activates the stress response system – fight, flight, and freeze -and if the child is not given support it can lead to lingering negative long term effects that affect the child emotionally, socially, physically and academically.
The pandemic and the recent civil unrest have brought about the need for Trauma informed schools. According to Dr Perry, it is not just the big T trauma; pandemics, natural disasters, civil unrest, divorce, death and illness where children need to be supported but we need to pay attention to the little “t” trauma that many children face daily. Big T Trauma is a reaction to a deeply disturbing, life-threatening event or situation. Little “t” traumas are highly distressing events that affect individuals on a personal level but don't fall into the big “T” category. Examples of little “t” trauma include non-life-threatening injuries, emotional abuse, death of a pet, bullying or harassment, and loss of significant relationships.
As human beings, we are exposed daily to changes and challenges and our bodies are designed to support us through our stress response system. However, trauma can lead to an alteration in how the system functions and that leads to an over-activity and over-reactivity. The reason that this is an important distinction is that many children experience daily microaggressions: they get a glance to say… you don’t belong; you are stupid; or you are invisible. All of these things literally activate the stress response system in an unpredictable way. That pattern if it’s prolonged enough, leads to the very same changes in the brain as the big “T” trauma.
“This type of ongoing micro aggression in a person’s life is underestimated and underappreciated component of the trauma narrative.”
You can have a loving family, no experience of natural disasters or violence. But if you’re in a school where you’re feeling like you don’t belong, you’re not the right colour, you are not the right gender, you’re not the right religious belief, whatever it is, you are continuously in the outgroup, it leads to the same emotional, physical and social consequences as the big “T” trauma.
There is overwhelming data to show that schools that have social emotional learning (SEL) programmes where teachers and children are given an opportunity to develop and practice EQ skills, are more equipped to cope with daily life challenges.
EQ is a learnable and measurable skill and increases effectiveness, academic achievement, improves relationships, supports children’s self-efficacy, and improves quality of life and overall wellbeing. Having the skills to keep your stress response system more regulated supports adults and children to live with more self-awareness, intention and purpose. These transformational skills equip us to deal with life’s small and big trauma.